The bus drove off after letting me off at the bus stop. My legs were heavy and my arms felt almost too weak to carry my books. I dragged my way home.
The following day was Career Day at Sandia High. I started to say something to a friend and the words came out wrong. A bright light began pulsating in my right eye and everything was blurry. I walked to the nurse’s station. I tried to get the words out, but they didn't make sense. She had me lay on a cot and she called Mom. When I got home I vomited and lay down with a terrible headache. I never went to a doctor but we decided it was a migraine.
I definitely was not happy. If I had felt insecure before Deryl left, now it was doubled. I felt like I had not only lost Deryl but Mom also. She just wasn’t there for Bronco and me. She was into doing her own thing. She had new friends and no time for us.
I'm not sure if Dave knew what was going on in my life. I had the "Code of Silence" put on me. Mom said I was to never tell anything that was going on in our house. I never talked to Dave or any of my friends about what I was going through. I carried it alone.
( In my senior year I finally told my friend Mary Lou…we talked late into the night.)