After we returned to Albuquerque, Mom and Deryl separated. They were getting a divorce. I had always told myself I didn’t like Deryl. But now, there was something missing. There was the feeling again of insecurity. I missed him. I realized that Deryl had always been good to me. I couldn't remember an unkind word towards me.
Mom went to work. I was put in charge of fixing supper. She began going out at night to the Albuquerque nightspots. She left me with Bronco. I was responsible to know where Bronco was and to take care of him. Mom told me if anyone called I was to tell them I was the babysitter not her daughter. I remember thinking she didn’t want anyone to know she had a daughter as old as me. It was usually after 2AM in the morning before she came home.
Once more fear raised its ugly head. Bronco was asleep in his room. I listened for Mom’s car. I was afraid to go to sleep. What if someone came into the house? One night, someone was whistling outside my window, but I was paralyzed with fear. I was unable to get up to see who it was. Soon it quit and I never knew who it was. *****
I ran to the corner. But I was too late. The bus had already left. I wasn’t getting enough sleep. I had overslept again. I could not concentrate at school. Mom seemed to be unaware of what I was going through. She was too caught up in her own life.