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DIVORCE




          After we returned to Albuquerque, Mom and Deryl separated.  They were getting a divorce.  I had always told myself I didn’t like Deryl.  But now, there was something missing.  There was the feeling again of insecurity.  I missed him. I realized that Deryl had always been good to me. I couldn't remember an unkind word towards me.
Mom went to work.  I was put in charge of fixing supper.  She began going out at night to the Albuquerque nightspots.  She left me with Bronco.  I was responsible to know where Bronco was and to take care of him.  Mom told me if anyone called I was to tell them I was the babysitter not her daughter. I remember thinking she didn’t want anyone to know she had a daughter as old as me.  It was usually after 2AM in the morning before she came home.
Once more fear raised its ugly head.  Bronco was asleep in his room.  I listened for Mom’s car.  I was afraid to go to sleep.  What if someone came into the house?  One night, someone was whistling outside my window, but I was paralyzed with fear. I was unable to get up to see who it was.  Soon it quit and I never knew who it was. *****
I ran to the corner. But I was too late. The bus had already left.  I wasn’t getting enough sleep. I had overslept again. I could not concentrate at school.  Mom seemed to be unaware of what I was going through. She was too caught up in her own life.