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After we returned to Albuquerque, Mom and
Deryl separated. They were getting a
divorce. I had always told myself I
didn’t like Deryl. But now, there was
something missing. There was the feeling
again of insecurity. I missed him. I realized that Deryl had always been good to me. I couldn't remember an unkind word towards me.
Mom went to work. I was put in charge of fixing supper. She began going out at night to the Albuquerque
nightspots. She left me with
Bronco. I was responsible to know where
Bronco was and to take care of him. Mom
told me if anyone called I was to tell them I was the babysitter not her
daughter. I remember thinking she didn’t want anyone to know she had a daughter
as old as me. It was usually after 2AM in the morning before she came home.
Once more fear raised its ugly
head. Bronco was asleep in his
room. I listened for Mom’s car. I was afraid to go to sleep. What if someone came into the house? One night, someone was whistling outside my
window, but I was paralyzed with fear. I was unable to get up to see who it
was. Soon it quit and I never knew who
it was. *****
I ran to the corner. But I was too
late. The bus had already left. I wasn’t
getting enough sleep. I had overslept again. I could not concentrate at school.
Mom seemed to be unaware of what I was going through. She was too caught
up in her own life.
